Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Cinnamon Toast Spread

Some days I wake up and feel like a true kitchen genius. Today was one of those days. One of the boys asked for PopTarts for breakfast and we are fresh out. Since his favorite is the brown sugar cinnamon flavor, I decided I would make a suitable substitute. That's how the Cinnamon Toast Spread was born!

3/4 Speadable Butter
1 Teaspoon of Cinnamon
1 Tablespoon of Sugar
1 Tablespoon of Brown Sugar

Mix all ingredients in a small bowl* until  blended well. Spread on bread, bagels, croissants, etc. Bake or toast in toaster oven until desired "toastiness"! Enjoy!

* This recipe makes more than you will need for one day but, will store well in the fridge for several weeks.... if it lasts that long! 


Monday, June 2, 2014

Part Of Me

Part of me says , "If you love someone, set them free". The other part of me is screaming, "FIGHT FOR HIM!"

Part of me wants to put on my armor and ride into battle. The other part of me wants to chill with a bottle of Moscato, a love story and a good cry.

Part of me wants to go all Jennifer Hudson on him and sing to him, "I'm staying and you're gonna love me". The other part of me is channeling my inner Elsa.

Part of me misses the fact that we could literally talk about anything. The other part of me aches because he was terrible at communicating his feelings.

Part of me is thinking that I should have just jumped in without regard to his situation. The other part of me is saying, "That would not have been very Christianlike of you."

Part of me thinks this is all part of God's plan. The other part of me is confused as to why He kept bringing him back to me only for it to end this way.

Part of me is patiently waiting for God to intervene. The other part of me is wondering if I've simply wasted too much time already.

Part of me thinks my patience has led to nothing but disappointment.  The other part of me thinks I'm being refined in the process.

Part of me wants to be a b**** and act like he never existed. The other part of me says, "Let me know how that works out for you".

Part of me wishes I could have done more, the other part of me says, "You did all you could do. Your hands were tied."

Part of me thinks this is much too much of myself to put out there. The other part of me thinks that reading this might somehow help someone in a similar situation. 

These are the things that I've been feeling and/or thinking since the unfolding of events last week. It's all internal. Nobody sees it. It doesn't affect what I'm doing. It's when I'm alone that the tears come. Apparently, I have some acting skills I never knew about.

I'm not mourning the fact that he doesn't love me anymore because I know he does. I'm mourning the fact that he mistook my patience for indifference. I'm mourning the fact that when he needed me the most, he sought someone else because he thought I didn't care about him. Do you know how gut wrenching that is? 

Most would say, "Oh, well see, you don't need that anyway!" but, they'd be missing the bigger picture. I chose to respect the mother of his kids, something that I didn't do in the past. I chose to put myself in her shoes and put her feelings before mine. I chose to wait until he was single of his own choosing, not because I threw ultimatums at him or begged him to leave. That, my friends, is ridiculously difficult. I hope you never have to go through that. It took lots of prayer, lots of grace and enormous amounts of love. If you filled up a few water towers with love, you might have enough. I currently have nothing to show for it but can walk with my head held high because I chose to do the right thing.

I'm surrounded by friends and family that keep me busy. God has blessed me beyond measure in that department. I spend my days talking with a close friend about a serious issue, meeting friends at the park, having dinner with other friends and all our kids, helping with a wedding, a birthday, scouts, working, raising my little men, going to church, gardening or cleaning my house. I spend my nights praying for my future husband, whoever and wherever he is. 

I want someone that challenges me, someone to argue with, laugh with, raise kids with, clean out the garage with, to hold on to when the waves come crashing in, to love unconditionally and will love me the same in return, to grow with, to spend this life with. I still hold onto the hope that I will have that and it will be more amazing than I could have ever imagined. 

As a Christian, I know that there is nothing more beautiful than God's plan. As a meager human, I struggle with the waiting associated with that plan. I struggle with obedience. I struggle with being led by my emotions rather than the spirit. I struggle with the why. I struggle with loneliness. I struggle with the fact that I never thought I'd be raising my boys alone but, here I am, my oldest is almost 17. I know there is a lesson in here somewhere. All I can do is observe, learn, apply, grow and repeat.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Love Is Never Lost

You know how they always say, "Don't lose sleep over someone who isn't losing sleep over you."? Well, that is easier said than done.  I've slept two hours and I cannot, no matter how hard I try, get back to sleep. I have too many words that need to escape.
You know when you see a little child break a toy, and it stops working, then they toss it aside and get something else to play with? That's my heart right now. It's that toy that got broken and tossed aside.
Last night was the. hardest. night. of my life. The man who I have loved for 7 years, the one I told you about several years ago, told me he found someone else. Not only that, he is moving out of the home he shares with the mother of his kids so he can be with her. But, a few short months ago, he wasn't going to leave her because of the kids.
He was confronted by my friend in front of this new woman, who, up until they pulled up in the driveway, had no idea that I existed. She had no clue. None. He told my friend that he had love for me but wasn't in love with me anymore. It would have been nice to know that last week when I got a text that said, "You are loved by me." To me, that means there is something there that you'd like to continue working on, to fix, together.  Silly me.
All the things that were wrong with us, all the reasons I held back throughout the years so as to guard my heart, he is fixing. With someone new. After a month. A MONTH. When I chose to fix the issues on my side 3 years ago (read letting go of my "baby daddy"), I chose him. Because that's what you do when you love someone. Am I right?
By now you're probably ready to punch him through a wall, right? I'm not. I have MAD love for him. Not in a stupid, "Oh, I'll never love anyone else" kind of way but in a seriously deep, spiritual kind of way. It's scary. Truly, madly, deeply, scary. He's always felt it too. It's never been one-sided.
It's why I thought we were strong enough to fix it. It's why I chose to be brave and say all the things that I needed to say. It's why I still hold onto hope. It's why when he was telling me his feelings for her, I flashed back to him telling me those same EXACT feelings he felt for me. It's why when everybody was talking and laughing, and thought I was asleep, I was in the corner with my face towards the sky praying for God to take the shattered pieces of my heart and gently put it back together.
I can't count all the tears I have shed. I'm nowhere near done crying. I'm nowhere near ready to get over him and move on. It will happen in time. It's going to take a lot of time to heal. Countless prayers and lots of time. Good thing that whole "pray without ceasing" thing is a major part of who I am. Otherwise, I'd be a mess. Ok, a messier mess.
We met at Kim and Robby's house. It's only fitting that this chapter closed 7 years later at Kim and Robby's house.
Love is never lost, it simply moves like the ocean, changing currents and pulling those brave enough to explore it into the undertow.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Chicken Broccoli Cheese Soup

On New Year's Eve, I had some deliciousness that I have never had before. It was Chicken Broccoli Cheese Soup. Now, normally I would beg for the recipe but I already conned the man out of his White Chicken Chili recipe a few years ago. I figured I didn't want to push my luck. So, I looked one up. I found this recipe and decided it was close enough to what I was looking for.
Anyone who knows me knows that I cannot follow a recipe, I can only use one as a guide. Sometimes it's because I don't have all the ingredients but mostly it's because once I get cooking, other ideas creep in. This time was no different. Without further ado, I give you my version of Chicken Broccoli Cheese Soup.

Chicken Broccoli Cheese Soup

  • 3 cooked split chicken breasts torn into bite sized pieces
  • 8 cups water 
  • 1 tablespoon chicken bouillon
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 1 tablespoon minced garlic
  • 1 small onion diced
  • 4 cups chicken broth (reserved from cooking chicken)
  • 12 oz bag frozen carrots (diced or sliced)
  • 16 oz bag frozen cut broccoli 
  • 1/2 stick butter
  • 3 tablespoons flour
  • 4 cups 1% milk
  • 2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
  • 1 cup shredded Italian blend cheese

In a small stock pot, boil chicken in water with chicken bouillon and salt. 
When the chicken is done, take it out and set it aside to cool enough to handle.
Scoop out enough broth to make 4 cups, discard or save the rest. 
In the stock pot, saute garlic and onion in 2T butter. 
When onions are clear, turn heat to low and add broth, broccoli and carrots.
Let simmer while tearing chicken (drop directly into the simmering broth). 
In large sauce pan, melt butter over medium-low and add flour a little at a time stirring constantly.
Once all the flour and butter are mixed begin to pour milk into the mixture very little at a time.
Continue to do so until at least half of the milk is blended well (you really don't want to rush this step!) then you can add the rest of the milk.
Add cheese about 1 cup at a time, stirring constantly, until all the cheese is blended well.
Remove cheese sauce from heat.
Pour cheese sauce into simmering chicken/broccoli/carrots.
Stir well and let simmer for approx 15 minutes on low.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Interviews With The Inappropriate: A Blog Hop

So, Michelle from Juicebox Confession, liked my Getting To Know You Tuesday questions on my Facebook Page (#gtkytcimp) and took it a step further! She solicited 3 questions from several bloggers and put together our first ever Blog Hop! Settle in, grab a cup of coffee and get ready to hop around the internet for a while. The links to all the participants are at the bottom of the page! 

 1. What made you start blogging?
 A. I'm horrible at journaling so I thought this would be easier for me to update. 

 2. What is the meaning behind the name of your blog? 
A. Every single time I opened my purse there was at least one toy car in it. My then toddlers decided that my purse made the perfect toy caddy. 

 3. Blogging is a great, quick way for a writer to reach an audience; how has blogging affected your daily life and do you get nervous when posting your thoughts for the interwebs to judge? 
A. Because I am a terrible blogger, it hasn't really affected daily life. My thoughts are my own and I'm fully aware that not everyone shares my same opinions. I'm cool with that. 

 4. How does your partner/others in your life feel about blogging? Do they find it invasive or do they fully support the blog effort?
 A. As long as I'm not sharing too much, everyone is ok with it. I even sent the link to Starting Over All Over Again to the man I wrote it about. He loved it. 

 5. What are your limits on your blog....? (What don't you talk about, who don't you name, ect) 
A. No cussing. I don't use anyone's name except my kids' names. 

 6. What is the most inappropriate/awful/shittycrappy thing you ever blogged about, and did it you actually post it to your blog? 
A. Lying is probably the worst one. It never made it to the blog. 

 7. How do you feel, as a writer, about the digitization of books? Do you prefer your Kindle or an old fashion paperback?
 A. My phone is my everything,even my Kindle. I believe we should have books in the event that technology ever goes away. We have over 400 books in my house. 

 8. What 3 things are you reading online (blogs/websites, e-magazines, or social media) do you follow or always read when you see new content, even when you’re busy? 
A. Matt Walsh's blog. He is awesome! I read all kinds of things. I am a self-proclaimed information junkie.

9. What song/singer/band is on your iPod that would surprise people the most?
A. Sex Pistols, Dead Kennedys, The Specials & Bob Marley. I had a love affair with Punk, Ska & Reggae. We still see each other on occasion. 

 10. Who is your biggest celebrity crush? 
A. Matthew McConoughey: He could read the phone book to me and I would hang on every word. Taye Diggs: He could just smile at me while Matthew is reading the phone book... 

 11. What is your guilty pleasure? 
A. Anything Disney. Disney World, old Disney movies, new Disney movies, and yes, even the Disney channel. 

 12. If you could offer a baby only one piece of advice (kind of like the fairies in Sleeping Beauty), what would it be? 
A. Do not be in a hurry to grow up. You only get a small portion of your life to be a child. The rest is not as glamorous as you would think it is. 

 13. Has your biggest fear ever come true?
A. No, and I thank God every day that it hasn't. 

 14. When something awesome happens to you, who do you call first? 
A. It depends on what it is! Sometimes it's my mom, sometimes it's my best friend, sometimes it's whoever it will interest or pertains to. 

 15. What is your passion and do you do it for a living? If not, why not? 
A. My passion is creating really good food to feed people. I took the first step and I'm selling my baked goods. The end goal is a restaurant that people will come back to over and over. 

 16. Give us your worst/funniest/silliest/most interesting SELFIE picture.

17. What is your favorite childhood movie?
 A. The Fox and The Hound 

 18. If you could be any kind of animal, what would you be and why? 
A. A Tiger. I have always identified with the cats, big and small. 

 19. What's your favorite adult beverage? 
A. Margaritas 

 20. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk and what is your bad drunken habit (think: tequila makes her clothes fall off....)? 
A. 3 Margaritas would be enough to make me drunk. I usually stop at 2 though so I don't develop any drunken habits. 

 21. If you had to appear on the popular Gameshow, "Baggage" as a contestant,  what would your 3 pieces of baggage be? 
A. I procrastinate, I have 3 boys, I am fiercely independent 

 22. Do you hover over the toilet in public bathrooms? 
A. No, I clean them. 

 23. What's the strangest talent you have? 
A. I can fold my fingers over each other from one side of my hand to the other. 

 24. If the zombie apocalypse were to happen, how long would you survive and why? 
A. I don't believe anything like this would actually happen but, I would survive as long as my kids were still alive. After that, it really would depend on if God wanted me to still be here. 

 25. What are 3 things you think people usually assume incorrectly, misunderstand or don't "get" about you either in real life, or as a result of your blog? 
A. In real life, people have accused me of being manipulative and a liar. I am neither of the two. As a result of the blog, I'm not aware of any misconceptions. 

 26. Last question, at the end of the day…what will have made your life a success?
 A. If I raise healthy, happy, self-sufficient, God-fearing, loving men to send out into the world, I will consider that to be my greatest success.

  Juicebox Confession
  More Than Cheese And Beer
  Mommy Needs Wine Not Whine
  Full Metal Mommy
  Pink Fuzzy Slippers And My Hubby's Pants
  Flaws And All
  Toy Cars In My Purse (You are here)
  Comfytown Chronicles

Saturday, August 10, 2013


The act of decluttering, sorting and organizing your belongings.

More to come soon.

Friday, April 5, 2013


Moms are the ones who get up before the kids to ensure that she has a hot cup of coffee and a hot meal only to find that her little ones decided to wake up early too.